


No Way I Could Stray

by gothwoozi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 08:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothwoozi/pseuds/gothwoozi
Summary: Jihoon’s life isn’t exhilarating. He works a shit-job for shit-pay from 9 to 5. He comes home to Soonyoung, and they do the same thing they always do. But, Jihoon is okay with that. Jihoon’s life may be mediocre, but the way Soonyoung makes him feel definitely isn’t.orthe one in which Jihoon and Soonyoung are stoner boyfriends.





	No Way I Could Stray

**Author's Note:**

> title is inspired by Pink Toes by Childish Gambino (like most of my writing is inspired by his songs bc uhhhhh he's a musical genius and i love him)
> 
> there isn't much to say about this one. i've always been thinking about this one for a long time. jihoon and soonyoung are loser stoner boyfriends, and that's chill. 
> 
> enjoy!

Real life isn’t exciting. Life is never like what they portray it in movies or on television. Most people don’t have zany events going on every other day, nor do they have French mistresses with 4 secret children. In reality, life is more like the working class scrambling to their mediocre jobs and then going to grab a drink at their local bar that sells $2 dollar beer that tastes like piss.

Jihoon knows this.

He’s fine with his life not being exciting.

The biggest drama in his life is being gay, but even in that isn’t such a huge conflict in his life since he lives in a relatively liberal area.

Occasionally, he smokes pot, but he’s not the drug dealer. Rather, he buys his from a guy who always wears the same denim Looney Tunes jacket and calls himself “C3PO.” And, he just got a new stash last night that he can’t wait to go home and smoke with his boyfriend, Soonyoung.

The small problem is that he’s been on the phone with a customer for the past 20 minutes, yet he was supposed to get off of work 15 minutes ago.

“I told you, young man! I can’t get into my computer!” the woman yells into his ear. She sounds like she might be about 50 years old which makes it even harder for Jihoon to explain that he can’t help her.

“Ma’am,” he breathes calmly once again, eyes rolling in the back of his head.  “We are just your internet provider. If you forgot the password to your computer, I cannot do anything for you.”

Jihoon’s coworker, Seungkwan, walks into his cubicle, silently laughing at Jihoon’s end of the conversation as he plays with the Black Panther plush Soonyoung bought for Jihoon.

“Have you tried calling Dell about your problem, ma’am?” Jihoon tries once again, feeling tempted to strangle himself with the cord of his phone. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll transfer you to my supervisor right away.”

With the click of a couple buttons, she’s sent Jeonghan’s way, and Jihoon slams the phone down unto the receiver.

“Jeonghan’s just gonna tell her the exact same thing,” Seungkwan chuckles, setting Jihoon’s plush back down on his desk.

“I know,” the other deadpans, shutting down his computer so he can _finally go home_. “She’ll probably just keep asking to speak to the supervisor until she reaches the CEO. All I know is that it isn’t my problem anymore.”

“Got a date with Soonyoung?”

“Kinda,” Jihoon mumbles, distractedly trying to find his earbuds. He really doesn’t want to lose them because he doesn’t have a back-up pair, and they’re Apple’s bastard invention where he can’t use any $3 pair he bought at a 7/11. He really misses headphone jacks.

It isn’t _exactly_ a date, not in the conventional sense where they go out to a restaurant. Instead, it’s Jihoon and Soonyoung smoking in the basement of the latter’s cousin, playing video games that are at least 10 years out of date, possibly making out, and eating leftover pizza.

Actually, that’s the perfect date to Jihoon. He really doesn’t care as long as he’s with Soonyoung.

“Is that code for…” Seungkwan looks around at the other cubicles. Everybody’s too busy with their own calls to even pay attention to them. He lowers his voice. “The Ganja?”

“Do you even need to ask? You already know the answer.”

“Don’t you even want the romantic stuff like roses and champagne just a little bit?” the other interrogates incredulously. Jihoon knows why. In his 3 years of working here, Jihoon has noticed Seungkwan tends to be a full-blown hopeless romantic. He always talks about how one day he’s going to have a honeymoon in Paris. In fact, he even asked Jihoon to play the violin at his future wedding. Even though, he isn’t engaged.

But, to Jihoon, those things are just a waste of money.

One shouldn’t need money to be in love with another person.

 

******

 

On his way to Soonyoung’s, Jihoon picks up a 20 piece chicken nugget from McDonald’s. They have food at the house, but it’s better to play it safe. Soonyoung is a black hole when the munchies hit him. Jihoon has fond memories of playing Kirby as a kid, and pink-faced, high Soonyoung is the literal embodiment of him. It’s one of Jihoon’s favorite thing about the other.

There’s an entrance to the basement outside on the side of the house. As Jihoon walks down the steps, the smell _instantly_ hits him. He’s kinda affronted that Soonyoung started without him.

He uses his key to get in.

When he walks into the basement, Soonyoung is relaxed on an ugly floral couch that Soonyoung’s cousin stuck in the basement because he hates it. Soonyoung is playing their copy of Fallout 3 that has so many scratches on it that it constantly lags. He’s wearing a Pokemon sweatshirt that they found together at a thrift store once. It has about 5 different holes in it and some soda stains, but Soonyoung knows Jihoon loves it so he refuses to part with it.

The other instantly smiles when he sees Jihoon out of the corner of his eye. In the moment he’s distracted, a centaur attacks. Soonyoung shrieks in fear as the virtual hideous beast scuttles towards him, and he almost falls backward off the couch.

“I thought you said you were the master of this game,” Jihoon remarks, setting his keys and food down on the table.

“I am,” the other instantly retorts, trying to escape the creature as he has run out of bullets. It’s running at him at an abnormal speed, and Soonyoung looks like he’s about to shit his pants. Jihoon thinks it’s kinda cute.

“Your friend there would beg to differ,” he teases, picking up the abandoned pipe on the coffee table. It’s just slightly burnt.

“After I kill him, I’ll ask him to be the best man at our wedding.”

The word _wedding_ sends a little bit of an electric jolt of excitement through Jihoon’s heart. They’ve talked about it before, but they’re not rushing into anything. That doesn’t mean Jihoon doesn’t think about it.

“You’ll need to move out of Hao’s basement first,” Jihoon pokes fun at Soonyoung, taking a hit from the pipe. When it hits his lungs, the long day immediately dissolves from Jihoon’s mind.

Now, it’s just him and Soonyoung.

 _That’s how it should always be,_ he thinks.

With loud booming music, Soonyoung’s character finally dies, collapsing to the ground in a questionable pose. Jihoon snaps a picture of it with his phone. Soonyoung groans, passing the controller to Jihoon. Jihoon swaps the pipe with him in return.

“Watch and learn, Kwon,” he claims as he loosens his tie. As soon as the game reloads, the centaur appears back on screen, immediately running for Jihoon. Unfortunately for it, Jihoon’s aim is much better than Soonyoung’s. It’s dead in 3 seconds.

When Jihoon glances at Soonyoung out of the corner of his eye, the other’s jaw is open. His bloodshot eyes look betrayed.

Jihoon just smiles smugly, continuing through the desolate underground train station.

“You think you’ve got such big dick energy,” Soonyoung scoffs, coughing a little bit as he takes a hit.

“You know I do,” Jihoon retorts, killing a ghoul with his bare fists. From beside him, he hears Soonyoung grumble something under his breath. He knows Soonyoung isn’t actually irritated at him, but he finds it very endearing that the other pretends to be. “You love me.”

“I suppose I do,” Soonyoung sighs heavily, sinking further into the couch as he gets more comfortable. Jihoon is aware the other must be much more stressed than he is. He’s a manager at a mall Gamestop, but he only makes 2 dollars above minimum wage.  It’s a Saturday, which is basically an invitation for obnoxious pre-teens.

“How was work?” Jihoon asks.

“Some 15-year-old tried to shoplift,” he says with no real infliction in his voice. It’s a regular occurrence. Though, Soonyoung does start giggling uncontrollably soon after. _This_ is the Soonyoung that Jihoon adores so much. He’s wheezing as he tries to tell his story. “The kid looked like he was going to piss himself when I said I was gonna call security. I asked him to empty his pockets, and he dumps like 5 Tom Nook figurines on the counter. Why?!”

“I can’t believe he went for Tom and not Isabelle,” Jihoon chuckles, and it sends Soonyoung into more roaring laughter. It makes Jihoon’s heart flutter in his chest. Soonyoung deserves to be this happy all the time.

“What about you? How was your day?”

“Same shit, different day,” Jihoon deadpans, still smiling. “Nobody understands that we’re just their internet provider, and Seungkwan keeps hoping you’re gonna take me to Red Lobster or something.”

Soonyoung’s giggles quiet down, and it’s solemnly silent for a moment. That plus the ominous music in the game puts Jihoon on edge for a little bit.

Jihoon knows Soonyoung is overthinking things right now.

“Do you ever wish you were dating someone with money?” he questions, gazing at Jihoon very seriously. Jihoon doesn’t care for serious Soonyoung as much, because that just means the other is doubting himself.

“Definitely not,” Jihoon instantly answers, willingly letting a super mutant kill him so he can give Soonyoung his full attention.

Taking the other by surprise, Jihoon climbs into the other’s lap, wrapping his arms around the back of his neck. Soonyoung’s breath hitches as if he’s surprised at the level of intimacy, even though he really shouldn’t be. They’ve been dated for 3 years. Instinctively, Soonyoung’s hands fly to Jihoon’s waist.  

“Why not? Don’t you ever want to be somebody’s sugar-baby twink?” Soonyoung teases, giggling intensely as he watches Jihoon cringe at just the words alone. His boyfriend looks purely _disgusted_ at even the idea.

“First of all, we both know the words ‘sugar-baby’ and ‘twink’ do not mix well with my personality,” Jihoon retorts, grimacing. Then, his face lightens as he stares at the other in adoration. “Second of all, do you seriously think I’d have fun being somebody’s arm-candy?”

Soonyoung shrugs sheepishly.

“No!” Jihoon answers for the other, kissing the other tenderly. “Sure, we’re both poor as hell, but I genuinely love you. We could be smoking weed and playing video games until we’re 50, and I’d still be happy.”

At Jihoon’s sentiment, Soonyoung breaks out into a wide grin.

“I love you, Lee Jihoon.”

“I love you too, dummy.”

Jihoon’s life isn’t exhilarating. He works a shit-job for shit-pay from 9 to 5. He comes home to Soonyoung, and they do the same thing they always do. But, Jihoon is okay with that. Jihoon’s life may be mediocre, but the way Soonyoung makes him feel definitely isn’t.

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you leave kudos and comments, i will love you forever.


End file.
